That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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