I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
