Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
