Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
