well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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