***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
