omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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