So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
