4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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