i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I look better un-naked...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
