2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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