drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
