next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
