there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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