I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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