let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
