yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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