google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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