Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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