its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
