just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
