We got so high we made milksteak
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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