I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
