Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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