are you so shy because you have an std?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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