just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
