There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
