oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
