when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
