it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
