just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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