I love black thongs
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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