Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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