he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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