I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize