i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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