Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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