saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize