You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
