oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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