32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
