I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
