put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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