Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
