I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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