just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
