I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
