SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sext me about skeletons
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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