too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
