I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
