Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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