peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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