Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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