I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize