Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
