after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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