yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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