i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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