those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
