How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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