Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize