I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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