You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
