my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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