also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
