Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
