I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
